Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Tell me Why You're Sleeping

i'm waiting for something
i'm not really sure what it is
but i know it's there
somewhere inside me
running freely, leaving traces.

and i know what you're thinking
this is you: Man, she's crazy.
peace of mind comes trotting in
and i keep thinking
but there's no room
there isn't a vacancy right now
maybe later.

i can practically see it,
almost feel it
but i don't want to wait
i have to understand.

and when i least expect it
it all comes flooding in
but my feet are tied to the ground
and i am nearly drowning
desperate to unlace my shoes.

no one can bear to see me
like blood, or broken noses
they have to turn away.

but it's here, somewhere                                                       
inside me
muffled by my own hand.

it's not the screaming or even the crying that says what's really wrong
it's that something
deep inside
needles and pins, like i'm asleep
but i'm wide awake and i'm on the verge of smoke

and i'm thinking
only thinking
no one talking here but me

i see it in the mirror
and it's clawing to get free
i pinch myself in hopes of waking
but this isn't any dream
i scream.

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