The moment I begin to feel as though I may not be in control, I go for a walk.
There are some days when it feels like in order to be alive I need to breathe boat-loads of outside air.
Sometimes it hits me very early in the morning, sometimes very late at night.
When my fingers start to quiver and my thoughts repeat like a record scratched.
When my insides can only be made still by steady movement.
Yesterday, when my dad asked me why I've been walking so much lately (he forgets that I used to do it a lot, maybe even more than I do now, but I can't blame him, it's been a while since I've gone walking... by myself) I couldn't think of anything to say but,
and I decided to leave out "I need it to feel sane."