Tuesday, February 21, 2012

you have made me a man

I look around me and I can hardly see anyone.
I'm a little weary of this kind of restlessness.
I keep forgetting to take my vitamins.
my ambitions are hardly deeply rooted, I can never get enough of complacency.
I'd hate to look in the mirror and see someone other than myself
but I avoid the mirrors.
I feel the need to purge everything I own, everything I've ever touched.
Instead bring more things into my cave of un-wonders.
I hate to look out my window when I know there are curtains that should be there, that belong there.
I hate bags and boxes, I suddenly loathe my horribly quirky clutter.
So many things.
So many ways.
And there's always some thought to dampen my already musty spirits.
Like how much I need to pee right now.
That just kills me.
Who needs bodily functions?
All things these I'm connected to begin to seem like the worst, the opposite of anything I want.
And here I am perpetuating it.

This is my plague,
my inability to let go.

2 comments:

Rae said...

Some of this is non-sensical but for some reason, those are the parts I understand well.
The whole thing kind of reminds me of Fight Club: "It is only after we have lost everything that we're free to do anything."
I don't necessarily recommend reading this book (though it's one of my favorites) but it brings up very interesting points.
Lovely post.

Colin & Cora said...

Ruthie,
This is completely unrelated to this post, but what better place than through a comment to contact you, right? My husband and I just watched your hipster video. We loved it! It's..refreshing to see how comfortable and unawkward you are talking to people you don't even know. In essence, you're cool. Also, you follow my friend Bethany. We were roommates last year, coincidentally enough. She's also cool. Have a great day!

If you are bored, want to gander, or just make sure that I'm a normal person, too, our blog can be found here: cwilstead.blogspot.com :)