Wednesday, November 7, 2012

A conversation with myself

Is hypocrisy a sin, or merely frowned upon?
If it is indeed a sin, then I am most assuredly doomed.
You see, I'm guilty of internal hypocrisy.

One part of me says,
                             "Do better, you ugly sin, do better.
                                  Be better.
                                Your lack of good astounds me."

That part knows he is better, so I should do better.
He judges me.
He hates me.
He is sorely upset to think that we are the same.

But there!

Right there, he admits that we are one, that we are, in truth, the same.
For he is me, and I am him, so who indeed is the sin?

He seems to think he's got a hold of the devil in me. Has him by the icy white parts of his finger nails and the tiny black hairs on his neck, ready for shaking whenever he pleases, ready to release into the recesses of me.
He plagues me to be better, but he is no better than me.
He is spiteful and hateful, and a hypocrite, at the least.
So how do I suffer him to change his ways?
How do I endure him to find me?
How do I convince him that we are we,
an us,
together?

Is hypocrisy a sin, or merely frowned upon?

1 comment:

morgan. said...

sometimes i die a little inside because your writing is so good.