Friday, January 11, 2013

Things to rant about

and maybe I won't even ramble that much, but I can't promise anything, either way.

While scrolling through my tumblr feed, I came upon a video.
Twas interesting, I watched it, and enjoyed the message.
and then I reblogged it and went about my day.

Then I read a post that Katrina wrote.
After reading the comments others had left, I had to sit and think for a minute.
Katrina and I are not the same person, but I do love her.
And I know that had I been in her position, having just written down thoughts that are deeply personal, I would have felt silly and maybe even ashamed, or sorry I'd bothered to share when I read a particular comment that was left.
Mind you, this was not a comment written in malice or meant to hurt Katrina.
But still it bothered me.
Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to share our nuggets, our "golden" thoughts that we trample all over each other and the purpose of blogging.
It's not about sharing thoughts and seeing who is the most correct about a particular issue.
That would never work simply because we are all different people with vastly different experiences.
The point is to pay attention.
To really take the time to listen.
To partake of each other's lives and offer our support and our love.
This is not to say that we should keep our opinions/advice to ourselves.
Opinions and advice can be beautiful, whether they are solicited or not.

BUT sometimes we get carried away.
This can cause waves especially when it concerns personal insecurities and desires.

We forever plague each other to be honest, not to be "fake".
But that can be one of the hardest things to do, especially when someone can so easily swoop in and make you want to take back everything you said.

Body image and weight is always a touchy subject.
And for some reason whenever someone who may be overweight expresses a desire to lose weight or become more fit, we all swoop in and tell them losing weight won't make them happy, that they should be happy with themselves the way they are, that they shouldn't focus so much on their appearance.

"Looks aren't everything", we tell them.

And that's true, looks aren't everything. Your worth is not determined by how little you weigh, or how flat your stomach is, but why, why, why are we so quick to jump in and try to "save" someone who simply wants to be healthy and more comfortable with her body?
What is so wrong with that?
We all have insecurities and things we wish we could change about ourselves, but I really just don't see what's wrong with knowing what you want and trying to better yourself.

Why are we so quick to shame someone about being unhappy with being overweight or unhealthy?

Just do me a favor and the think about it before you say something that might make someone wish they had never shared. Everyone deserves to feel like their own blog is a safe space to be themselves.

Spread love.

Here's the video (there's some language, so watch out):


Maddie Violet said...

really love this post.

Lauren Elisabeth said...

Ruth. I. LOVE. THIS. You are the greatest. Love your blog. I feel the same way. "We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves." --Fran├žois Duc de La Rochefoucauld. You inspired me to take of my mask of disguise and do things I want to do...for me, not for anything or anyone else. You are wonderful!! Always remember that!

morgan. said...

lovelove! okay i'm gonna rant back to you because i'm super passionate about this topic. totally agree with you. the way you present yourself, setting goals for your health, or even wanting to make a change in style or size can perpetuate confidence & help you become who you truly want to be. so people shouldn't be put down for that.

i personally am completely guilty of being that woman who will swoop in & say "BUT SIZE ISN'T HAPPINESS!", but i mainly say it out of fear that someone will experience what i did. having gone through an eating disorder out of being obsessed with my weight, i don't want anyone to experience the extreme emotions that accompany that - & it starts with thinking "i will be happier if i am skinnier."

i'm setting some health goals currently and am losing some weight again. but this time around, it's different. because i've affirmed myself from the inside out, mainly through the love of God. & i know that i will be happy at any size that i am, and that having an obsession with size & equating it with happiness can take over my life. this time i'm doing it for better reasons, health wise and energy wise. i want to live long & healthily, and i love setting goals for myself having to do with strength & flexibility - it helps improve determination and character.

losing weight because i thought it would make me happy vs. losing weight and knowing that my happiness doesn't depend on it. two very different experiences.

so even though i'm a very big promotor of "love who you are on the inside first", and "beauty comes from the heart", i dont think any of us know what exactly someone else is going through. ESPECIALLY when it has to do with girls & their personal image. so it's not fair to judge.