Monday, November 18, 2013

In this moment

It's beginning to dawn on me just how close Kam is to being home. And I get a little scared, just because I love him so much. I wish I could sleep for a week and wake up when it's over. In this moment I feel anxious. And in this moment I miss him more than I can say.

Reading over old Facebook messages and my heart twinges. Why does he have to be so great?

I think I've sort of been dreading this. It's all becoming real. If only I could pretend a bit longer, just to hold off the anxious feelings, the missing him. I don't know if I can handle a whole week of all that. 

It's my sister's wedding, I tell you. It's forcing me to realize how close it all really is. By this time next week she'll be married. By this time next week I'll be tossing and turning in my bed willing sleep to come and probably failing miserably. 

I just needed to find bliss in ignorance a little longer, but it's too late for that now. I know, an I can't unknow it. 

And right now there's nothing to do about it. All I can do is sit here and pray that this week flies. Or at least pray that I make it through it.

I freaking like him. You know?
And now I'm all anxious about it.
I have no idea what I'm in for.


Sara Anderson said...

i am so excited for you ruthie!! you guys are just gonna be so darn cute and in love:) and i'm just gonna love it. this is the best!!

Rebecca said...

Errythang will be great! Just immerse yourself in stuff and the time will pass a little quicker.<3